For the second year in a row, a Cincinnati couple has constructed a zombie-themed Nativity scene against the objections of local zoning officials and religious groups… The biblical scene comes complete with Mary, Joseph, undead wise men and a razor-toothed baby Jesus in a manger. A spooky version of “Silent Night” blares in the background.
This is my favorite news item of the holiday season so far. (And future holiday news items are gonna have a high bar to meet, lemme tell you.) So—as some of you may know—I am of the staunch opinion that everything is better with zombies. Take any single thing, no matter how cool or fun or beloved, and adding zombies to it will automatically make it at least %150 more awesome. Not everyone shares this opinion, obviously, and some folks in Ohio really don’t share this opinion, apparently.
The couple who built the nativity scene, Jasen and Amanda Dixon, are determined to fight for their right to keep the display up, but that may not be possible, as the Dixons have been threatened with a fine of $500 for every day the scene remains visible on their front lawn. (They’re trying to crowdfund money to defray the potential costs.)
Of course I understand the objections of the religious groups; religious groups—and the people in them—often have no sense of humor and extremely weak faith. But I’m unclear as to why the zoning officials are getting involved. If it’s case where no lawn decorations of any kind are allowed in this township, then I have no objections (much as I love everything about this nativity scene). But if it’s a case where traditional nativity scenes are allowed (or typically allowed to slide) and this one has been singled out, then I have serious objections and I wish the Dixons all the best.
Whatever happens, though, we’ll always have this:
As word of the [nativity scene] spread—and supporters made the point that, technically, Jesus rose from the dead—a local religious group dropped a pamphlet at the zombie baby Jesus’ feet:
“GOD FROWNS UPON THIS MANGER SCENE,” the pamphlet read. “Jesus has supreme power over death and evil; he is not a zombie.”
God frowns upon this manger scene. Jesus is not a zombie.
You just cannot make this shit up.